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Marricalypse Now

LK-Abitur 2002-II, Topic 2: “Once you are mar­ried you are done for.” Would you sub­scri­be to this view?

Von Peter Grandl:

Marricalypse Now

What has Coppola´s Viet­nam-war mas­ter­pie­ce to do with mar­ria­ge? At first glan­ce not­hing, but if you look clo­ser you see Cap­tain Wil­lard and his team going down the river and get­ting more and more men­tal­ly dis­or­de­red. Quite the same hap­pens to mar­ried peo­p­le: at first top, then more and more flop.

Let’s take a nor­mal Satur­day of a sin­gle: You get up at one p.m. and your head is aching becau­se of last night’s par­ty which las­ted until half-past-six in the mor­ning. Then you have a short break­fast with Kellogg’s and hea­da­che tablets. In the after­noon you meet with your three best fri­ends at your favou­ri­te pub and watch Bay­ern Munich. After that you go home, have din­ner and then you go to a dis­co and again cele­bra­te till dawn.

Not so if you are mar­ried! Then you get up at half-past-six in the mor­ning becau­se the dog, which your wife wan­ted to have so bad­ly, is bar­king and wants to be taken for a walk. Back home again you’re total­ly wet and in a foul mood becau­se of the lou­sy wea­ther out­side. And then the break­fast: vege­ta­ri­an, becau­se your wife has recent­ly deci­ded to try vege­ta­ri­an food. Then, wit­hout meat in your sto­mach, you have to go on a long walk and enjoy the beau­tiful natu­re, that you have seen a thou­sands times befo­re, tog­e­ther with your gab­bing wife.

At home you see only a five minu­te sum­ma­ry of the best Bay­ern Munich match in histo­ry and you´re jea­lous of your fri­ends who wat­ched the who­le game at the pub on SKY Sport HD and are now cele­bra­ting the vic­to­ry in a club. Of cour­se you are at home and watch ano­ther kit­schy and sen­ti­men­tal Rosa­mun­de Pilcher with your wife, who falls asleep after ten minu­tes but imme­dia­te­ly wakes up when you secret­ly try to switch to ano­ther program.

When the movie final­ly is over you go to bed, but you can´t sleep becau­se the very thought that Bay­ern Munich will be in the Cham­pi­ons-League final next Satur­day and will have the his­to­ri­cal chan­ce to win the tri­ple and again you won’t be able to see the match, keeps you awake.

So I agree with what someone once said: „All mar­ria­ges are hap­py.  It’s the living tog­e­ther after­ward that cau­ses all the trouble.“

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  1. Verena

    per­fect 😉

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