{"id":11916,"date":"2016-02-24T17:03:45","date_gmt":"2016-02-24T16:03:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jochenenglish.de\/?p=11916"},"modified":"2016-10-03T14:33:07","modified_gmt":"2016-10-03T13:33:07","slug":"how-to-annoy-your-teacher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/?p=11916","title":{"rendered":"How to Lose Points & Influence Your Teacher"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2026 when you ans\u00adwer Ques\u00adti\u00adons on the text. <\/em>The fol\u00adlo\u00adwing 25 time-tes\u00adted methods of irri\u00adta\u00adting your tea\u00adcher and per\u00adsua\u00adding him to deduct (ab\u00adziehen<\/em>) points and lower your gra\u00adde will sure\u00adly work for you, too.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Do not read all the ques\u00adti\u00adons befo\u00adre you start working. Quick\u00adly scan the text and then start imme\u00addia\u00adte\u00adly with the one you like best. When you later on dis\u00adco\u00adver that you have alre\u00ada\u00addy ans\u00adwe\u00adred a ques\u00adti\u00adon, wri\u00adte \u201eAs I have alre\u00ada\u00addy said in \u2026\u201c.<\/li>\n
  2. Do not give any clues (Hin\u00adwei\u00adse<\/em>) like ques\u00adti\u00adon numbers.<\/li>\n
  3. Tea\u00adchers just love repe\u00adti\u00adti\u00adons, that is why you should repeat yours\u00adelf as often as pos\u00adsi\u00adble (\u201cAs I have alre\u00ada\u00addy said before \u2026\u201d).<\/li>\n
  4. Do not lea\u00adve any blank lines bet\u00adween the dif\u00adfe\u00adrent ans\u00adwers. Your who\u00adle test should be one long block of text; like this you will save a lot of paper and help the forests.<\/li>\n
  5. Try to make as many inser\u00adti\u00adons (Erg\u00e4n\u00adzung<\/em>) as pos\u00adsi\u00adble. Do not mark your inser\u00adti\u00adon so that your tea\u00adcher expe\u00adri\u00aden\u00adces a hap\u00adpy sur\u00adpri\u00adse when he sud\u00adden\u00adly dis\u00adco\u00advers some\u00adthing on the last page that belongs to your first answer.<\/li>\n
  6. Never put inser\u00adti\u00adons clo\u00adse to the ans\u00adwer it belongs to. If your ans\u00adwer con\u00adsists of three sen\u00adten\u00adces, the inser\u00adti\u00adon should be at least four sen\u00adten\u00adces and the\u00adre should be at least one page in bet\u00adween; if neces\u00adsa\u00adry you may add some\u00adthing to an inser\u00adti\u00adon on the very last page.<\/li>\n
  7. Mark all your inser\u00adti\u00adons with an aste\u00adrisk*. Do not use any clear marks like super\u00adscript (hoch\u00adge\u00adstellt<\/em>) <\/em>num\u00adbers, they would spoil the fun of working out which inser\u00adti\u00adon belongs to which answer.<\/li>\n
  8. Do not ans\u00adwer the dif\u00adfe\u00adrent parts of a ques\u00adti\u00adon in the given order. Always start with the last one, wri\u00adte one sen\u00adtence con\u00adcer\u00adning the first one and then con\u00adti\u00adnue with the last again.<\/li>\n
  9. Save paper and wri\u00adte across the mar\u00adgins. Your tea\u00adcher will be hap\u00adpy that he will not have to wri\u00adte too many comments.<\/li>\n
  10. Wri\u00adte ille\u00adgi\u00adbly. If you can\u00adnot, your hand\u00adwri\u00adting should be as tiny as pos\u00adsi\u00adble. Prac\u00adti\u00adce this at the bot\u00adtom of each page.<\/li>\n
  11. If you are not sure how to spell a word, sim\u00adply wri\u00adte your second ver\u00adsi\u00adon over the first one. This method is espe\u00adci\u00adal\u00adly effi\u00adci\u00adent with vowels. Your tea\u00adcher just loves to find out whe\u00adther it is sup\u00adpo\u00adsed to be an a<\/em>, an o<\/em> or may\u00adbe a u<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  12. Do not stick to the point. Do not even say what the point is. Just waff\u00adle on (schwa\u00adfeln<\/em>) about any\u00adthing that comes to your mind. Your tea\u00adcher will be hap\u00adpy that you know so much and will pick out the things he likes and igno\u00adre the rest.<\/li>\n
  13. Do not reve\u00adal the source of any of your con\u00adclu\u00adsi\u00adons, inter\u00adpre\u00adta\u00adti\u00adons etc. Never ever give any line num\u00adbers, they would spoil the teacher\u2019s fun to search for the pas\u00adsa\u00adge you might refer to.<\/li>\n
  14. Do not use any quo\u00adta\u00adti\u00adon marks. Let the tea\u00adcher find out hims\u00adelf whe\u00adther you used your own words or not.<\/li>\n
  15. If a quo\u00adta\u00adti\u00adon does not fit into your sen\u00adtence, sim\u00adply chan\u00adge it. If neces\u00adsa\u00adry just lea\u00adve out un\u00adnecessary words like not<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  16. Do not begin a new para\u00adgraph for a new aspect, argu\u00adment etc. Tea\u00adchers just love one looong block of text, becau\u00adse it is so much more enter\u00adtai\u00adning for the tea\u00adcher to work out hims\u00adelf whe\u00adre e.g. a new argu\u00adment begins.<\/li>\n
  17. Under no cir\u00adcum\u00ads\u00adtances indent the first line of a new para\u00adgraph. Make sure that the last line of the pre\u00advious para\u00adgraph goes to the very right mar\u00adgin so that ever\u00ady\u00adthing is neat\u00adly packed into one long paragraph.<\/li>\n
  18. Do not pro\u00advi\u00adde con\u00adnec\u00adti\u00adves and signal words. Sim\u00adply con\u00adnect all your sen\u00adten\u00adces with And<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  19. Include ple\u00adnty of hack\u00adney\u00aded (abge\u00addro\u00adschen<\/em>) phra\u00adses (\u201cWe are all indi\u00advi\u00addu\u00adals and ever\u00adyo\u00adne must deci\u00adde for them\u00adsel\u00adves\u201d) and avo\u00adid any alter\u00adna\u00adti\u00adves to (rather \/ very<\/em>) good \/<\/em> bad<\/em>.<\/li>\n
  20. Eit\u00adher run sen\u00adten\u00adces tog\u00ade\u00adther wit\u00adhout full stops or<\/em> wri\u00adte sen\u00adtence frag\u00adments or<\/em> alter\u00adna\u00adte the two forms. Alter\u00adna\u00adtively just wri\u00adte a bul\u00adle\u00adted list or key\u00adwords. The tea\u00adcher will app\u00adre\u00adcia\u00adte your efficiency.<\/li>\n
  21. Keep chan\u00adging bet\u00adween pre\u00adsent and past ten\u00adse, even within the same sen\u00adtence. This shows your flexibility.<\/li>\n
  22. Make sure your pro\u00adno\u00aduns do not refer to any\u00adthing or anyo\u00adne in particular.<\/li>\n
  23. Sprink\u00adle (ver\u00adtei\u00adlen<\/em>) dots ever\u00ady\u00adwhe\u00adre. Full stops sim\u00adply look good and acti\u00adva\u00adte the rea\u00adder. As an alter\u00adna\u00adti\u00adve you could lea\u00adve out all punc\u00adtua\u00adti\u00adon marks.<\/li>\n
  24. Do not do any revi\u00adsing or pro\u00adofre\u00ada\u00adding. This would sure\u00adly rai\u00adse your grade.<\/li>\n
  25. Never ever use your dic\u00adtion\u00ada\u00adry! When you come across an unknown word, just look at the cei\u00adling or out of the win\u00addow and guess its mea\u00adning. As you know the\u00adre are a lot of simi\u00adla\u00adri\u00adties bet\u00adween Eng\u00adlish and Ger\u00adman, so sim\u00adply take the Ger\u00adman word and make it Eng\u00adlish: bekom\u00admen = beco\u00adme, bewah\u00adren = bewa\u00adre, aktu\u00adell = actu\u00adal etc. Howe\u00adver if you HAVE to use a dic\u00adtion\u00ada\u00adry, sim\u00adply take the first word that is given as a trans\u00adla\u00adti\u00adon, regard\u00adless if it fits the con\u00adtext or not. Thus you can crea\u00adte tim\u00ade\u00adl\u00adess tea\u00adcher favou\u00adri\u00adtes (\u201cThe neck\u00adli\u00adne from the roman \u2026\u201d) which will be quo\u00adted in your memo\u00adry in the tea\u00adchers\u2019 lounge for years to come.\u201c<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Allu\u00adsi\u00adon in the title \u2026<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u2026 when you ans\u00adwer Ques\u00adti\u00adons on the text. The fol\u00adlo\u00adwing 25 time-tes\u00ad\u00adted methods of irri\u00adta\u00adting your tea\u00adcher and per\u00adsua\u00adding him to deduct (ab\u00adziehen) points and lower your gra\u00adde will sure\u00adly work for you, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[40,19],"class_list":["post-11916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alg","tag-abitur","tag-humour"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11916"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11916\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12740,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11916\/revisions\/12740"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}