{"id":1127,"date":"2008-02-01T19:58:05","date_gmt":"2008-02-01T18:58:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jochenenglish.de\/?p=1127"},"modified":"2013-09-29T16:37:30","modified_gmt":"2013-09-29T15:37:30","slug":"much-ado-about-a-lorgnette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/?p=1127","title":{"rendered":"Much Ado about a Lorgnette"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2026 ist der Titel eines phan\u00adtas\u00adti\u00adschen Tex\u00adtes mei\u00adner LK-Sch\u00fc\u00adle\u00adrin Eve\u00adlyn Rei\u00adter<\/strong>. Aus\u00adgangs\u00adpunkt f\u00fcr die\u00adse crea\u00adti\u00adve wri\u00adting <\/em>Auf\u00adga\u00adbe war ein Bei\u00adtrag im SZ-Maga\u00adzin<\/a> (zip), in dem Pho\u00adtos von Gegen\u00adst\u00e4n\u00adden gezeigt wur\u00adden, die alle an einem Tag in der Lon\u00addo\u00adner U\u2011Bahn lie\u00adgen\u00adge\u00adblie\u00adben sind. Dar\u00adun\u00adter sind herr\u00adlich bizar\u00adre Sachen wie ein Gebiss, ein Mega\u00adphon, eine Gie\u00df\u00adkan\u00adne, eine Gum\u00admi\u00adschlan\u00adge und ein Opern\u00adglas (engl. lor\u00adgnet\u00adte)<\/em>. Die Sch\u00fc\u00adler soll\u00adten sich nun irgend\u00adei\u00adnen Gegen\u00adstand w\u00e4h\u00adlen und dazu eine Geschich\u00adte schrei\u00adben. Im Lau\u00adfe mei\u00adner Unter\u00adrichts\u00adt\u00e4\u00adtig\u00adkeit habe ich zwar schon vie\u00adle sehr gute und sogar her\u00advor\u00adra\u00adgen\u00adde Geschich\u00adten bekom\u00admen, aber eine GEREIMTE Geschich\u00adte ist ein ech\u00adtes Novum. <\/p>\n

Much Ado about a Lorgnette<\/h4>\n

In a shi\u00advery and eerie night,
\nWhen peo\u00adp\u00adle, poli\u00adce and pan\u00adhand\u00adlers are out of sight,
\nI des\u00adcen\u00added into the yaw\u00adning subway-abyss,
\nAs if to recei\u00adve Hades\u2019 bit\u00adter kiss.<\/p>\n

But I wasn\u2019t alone,
\nNo, was not on my own.
\nI felt her next to my shoulder,
\nTrembling and shaking,
\nAs if she got colder.
\nShe came clo\u00adser to me.<\/p>\n

Some days ago,
\nMy fri\u00adend gave me a call
\nAnd asked me to go out with Darby.
\nHe pro\u00admi\u00adsed her to be nice and tall
\nAnd smart like my ex-girl\u00adfri\u00adend Abby.
\nBut she was no beau\u00adty at all,
\nNo queen and not even a lady.
\nShe didn\u2019t look slim like a Barbie-doll
\nAnd even her clo\u00adthes were shabby.<\/p>\n

But her eyes, oh her eyes,
\nThey were nice, oh, so nice!
\nThey were blue mixed with green,
\nThey were shi\u00adny and keen,
\nTheir look used to be soft
\nAnd their las\u00adhes were aiming aloft.<\/p>\n

I spent all my money on her.
\nMade her scream \u201cOh, dear Sir!\u201d,
\nWhen I took her to \u201cLa Traviata\u201d,
\nMade her lis\u00adten to Netreb\u00adkos\u2019 cantata.
\nAfter\u00adwards it hap\u00adpen\u00aded to occur,
\nThat we went into a bar,
\nWhe\u00adre we boo\u00adzed \u201cBloo\u00addy Mary\u201d and shared a cigar,
\nUntil both of us were fee\u00adling bizarre.
\nThen we had to leave,
\nTo my very gre\u00adat relief,
\n\u2018Cau\u00adse my money was gone.<\/p>\n

So we couldn\u2019t dri\u00adve home with a cab,
\nBut ente\u00adred the subway.
\nWhile I tried to save mys\u00adelf from a nap,
\nWe got on a train, tired from the long day,
\nAnd nest\u00adled down on a pad\u00added seat
\nAnd stret\u00adched out our poor, tired feet.<\/p>\n

Whilst she play\u00aded with her lorgnette
\nWe sat on this slea\u00adzy couch as one lies on his daybed.
\nWe got thril\u00adled by dri\u00adving and rambling ahead
\nAnd I squeezed her right hand,
\nAllu\u00adred by her nails pain\u00adted blood-red.<\/p>\n

We got hit by a scream
\nAnd as if we had slept,
\nWe lifted our heads
\nAnd faced that scene:
\nAn old lady was crying and cursing,
\nTwo fat guys were giggling and gagging.<\/p>\n

I tried to figu\u00adre out for myself,
\nTo be or not to be \u2013
\nMy body wan\u00adted to be knight\u00adly and brave,
\nBut damn! My heart couldn\u2019t agree.<\/p>\n

Befo\u00adre my mind could decide,
\nWhich side to give in,
\nI jum\u00adped up with a grin.
\nNow I felt that hell was nearby,
\nNow I had the desi\u00adre to loo\u00adsen my tie.
\nBut the\u00adre was no tur\u00adning back!
\nWell, I deci\u00added to attack:<\/p>\n

\u201cReturn the pur\u00adse, you rascal!
\nOr \u2013 by my soul and by my sole \u2013 you\u2019ll have to face a battle!\u201d
\nThereu\u00adpon one pul\u00adled out his knife,
\nSo I got to fear for my life.
\nWhen he made a few threa\u00adtening steps towards me,
\nI thought, it would be bet\u00adter to flee.<\/p>\n

I screa\u00admed: \u201cDar\u00adby, make haste!
\nThe\u00adre is no second to waste!\u201d
\nWe slo\u00adped off short\u00adly befo\u00adre the doors smas\u00adhed shut.<\/p>\n

While we were rus\u00adhing in panic,
\nI heard her crying: \u201cMy lorgnette!\u201d
\nIt had slip\u00adped from her fin\u00adgers and hit the floor,
\nBut we had to run ahead.
\nActual\u00adly, she wasn\u2019t real\u00adly sad,
\n\u2018Cau\u00adse both of us didn\u2019t want to pay with our lives,
\nBy being spik\u00aded up by two knives.<\/p>\n

When the sub\u00adway rus\u00adhed away,
\nWe were pan\u00adting and gas\u00adping for breath.
\nI couldn\u2019t find the right words to say,
\nI felt guil\u00adty for brin\u00adging her so clo\u00adse to death.<\/p>\n

But dear rea\u00adder, don\u2019t worry,
\nYou mustn\u2019t be sorry,
\nNot for me, nor for Darby \u2013
\nWe\u2019ve been mar\u00adried sin\u00adce February.<\/p>\n

Our love is like a red, red rose,
\nWhich came gent\u00adly and unex\u00adpec\u00adted as on tiptoes,
\nWe\u2019ll be tog\u00ade\u00adther till the day we die
\nAnd even then, we\u2019ll soar tog\u00ade\u00adther to the sky.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026 ist der Titel eines phan\u00adtas\u00adti\u00adschen Tex\u00adtes mei\u00adner LK-Sch\u00fc\u00ad\u00adle\u00adrin Eve\u00adlyn Rei\u00adter. Aus\u00adgangs\u00adpunkt f\u00fcr die\u00adse crea\u00adti\u00adve wri\u00adting Auf\u00adga\u00adbe war ein Bei\u00adtrag im SZ-Maga\u00ad\u00adzin (zip), in dem Pho\u00adtos von Gegen\u00adst\u00e4n\u00adden gezeigt wur\u00adden, die alle an einem Tag in der Lon\u00addo\u00adner U\u2011Bahn lie\u00adgen\u00adge\u00adblie\u00adben sind. Dar\u00adun\u00adter sind herr\u00adlich bizar\u00adre Sachen wie ein Gebiss, ein Mega\u00adphon, eine Gie\u00df\u00adkan\u00adne, eine Gum\u00admi\u00adschlan\u00adge und [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[9,64],"class_list":["post-1127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alg","tag-literature","tag-poetry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1127","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1127"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1127\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9609,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1127\/revisions\/9609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1127"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1127"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1127"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}