{"id":1004,"date":"2007-12-16T17:07:43","date_gmt":"2007-12-16T16:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jochenenglish.de\/?p=1004"},"modified":"2007-12-19T13:47:33","modified_gmt":"2007-12-19T12:47:33","slug":"politically-correct-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/?p=1004","title":{"rendered":"Politically Correct Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pas\u00adsend zur Jah\u00adres\u00adzeit von Phil\u00adipp Winn<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

\u201aTwas the night befo\u00adre Christ\u00admas, and San\u00adta was a wreck.
\nHow to live in a world that\u2019s poli\u00adti\u00adcal\u00adly correct?
\nHis workers no lon\u00adger would ans\u00adwer to \u201eElves\u201c.
\n\u201eVer\u00adti\u00adcal\u00adly Chal\u00adlen\u00adged,\u201c they were cal\u00adling themselves;<\/p>\n

And labor con\u00addi\u00adti\u00adons at the North Pole
\nWere alle\u00adged by the uni\u00adons to stif\u00adle the soul.
\nThe reinde\u00ader had vanis\u00adhed, wit\u00adhout much propriety,
\nReleased to the wilds by the Huma\u00adne Society.<\/p>\n

And equal employ\u00adment had made it quite clear
\nThat San\u00adta had bet\u00adter not use just reindeer.
\nSo Dancer and Don\u00adner, Comet and Cupid,
\nWere repla\u00adced by four pigs, and you know that loo\u00adked stupid!<\/p>\n

The run\u00adners had all been remo\u00adved from his sleigh;
\nThe ruts were ter\u00admed dan\u00adge\u00adrous by the EPA.
\nAnd peo\u00adp\u00adle had star\u00adted to call for the cops
\nWhen they heard sled noi\u00adses on their roof-tops.<\/p>\n

Smo\u00adke from his pipe had workers quite frightened.
\nHis fur-trim\u00admed suit was cal\u00adled, \u201eunen\u00adligh\u00adten\u00aded.\u201c
\nAnd to show you the stran\u00adgen\u00adess of life\u2019s ebbs and flows,
\nRudolph was suing over use of his nose.<\/p>\n

He had gone on Geral\u00addo, in front of the nation,
\nDeman\u00adding mil\u00adli\u00adons in over-due compensation.
\nSo, half of the reinde\u00ader were gone; and his wife,
\nWho sud\u00adden\u00adly said she\u2019d enough of this life,<\/p>\n

Joi\u00adn\u00aded a self-help group, packed, left in a whiz,
\nDeman\u00adding from now on her title was Ms.
\nAnd as for the gifts, he\u2019d never had a notion
\nThat making a choice could cau\u00adse so much commotion.<\/p>\n

Not\u00adhing of lea\u00adther, not\u00adhing of fur,
\nWhich meant not\u00adhing for him, and not\u00adhing for her.
\nNot\u00adhing that might be con\u00adstrued to pollute.
\nNot\u00adhing to aim, not\u00adhing to shoot.<\/p>\n

Not\u00adhing that clamo\u00adred or made lots of noise.
\nNot\u00adhing for just girls, or just for the boys.
\nNot\u00adhing that clai\u00admed to be gen\u00adder specific,
\nNot\u00adhing that\u2019s war\u00adli\u00adke, or non-pacifistic.<\/p>\n

No can\u00addy or sweets \u2013 they were bad for the tooth
\nNot\u00adhing that see\u00admed to embel\u00adlish a truth.
\nAnd fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
\nWere like Ken and Bar\u00adbie, bet\u00adter off hidden.<\/p>\n

They rai\u00adsed the hack\u00adles of tho\u00adse psychological,
\nWho clai\u00admed the only good gift was ecological.
\nNo base\u00adball, no foot\u00adball, someone could get hurt;
\nBes\u00adi\u00addes, play\u00ading sports expo\u00adsed kids to dirt.<\/p>\n

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe.
\nNin\u00adten\u00addo would rot your enti\u00adre brain away.
\nSo San\u00adta just stood the\u00adre, dis\u00adhe\u00adve\u00adled, perplexed;
\nHe just could not figu\u00adre out what to do next.<\/p>\n

He tried to be mer\u00adry, he tried to be gay,
\nBut you\u2019\u00adve got to be careful with that word today.
\nHis sack was quite emp\u00adty, limp to the ground;
\nNot\u00adhing accep\u00adta\u00adble was to be found.<\/p>\n

Some\u00adthing spe\u00adcial was nee\u00added, a gift that he might
\nGive to all wit\u00adhout ange\u00adring the left or the right.
\nA gift that would satis\u00adfy, with no indecision,
\nEach group of peo\u00adp\u00adle, every religion;<\/p>\n

Every eth\u00adni\u00adci\u00adty, every skin hue;
\nEver\u00adyo\u00adne, ever\u00ady\u00adwhe\u00adre \u2013 even you.
\nSo here is that gift, it\u2019s pri\u00adced bey\u00adond worth -
\n\u201eMay you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.\u201c<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pas\u00adsend zur Jah\u00adres\u00adzeit von Phil\u00adipp Winn: \u201aTwas the night befo\u00adre Christ\u00admas, and San\u00adta was a wreck. How to live in a world that\u2019s poli\u00adti\u00adcal\u00adly cor\u00adrect? His workers no lon\u00adger would ans\u00adwer to \u201eElves\u201c. \u201eVer\u00adti\u00adcal\u00adly Chal\u00adlen\u00adged,\u201c they were cal\u00adling them\u00adsel\u00adves; And labor con\u00addi\u00adti\u00adons at the North Pole Were alle\u00adged by the uni\u00adons to stif\u00adle the soul. The reinde\u00ader had [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-1004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-humour"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1004"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jochenlueders.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}